make_it_better | [For Lucy] Look for the girl with the sun in her eyes and she's gone

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[For Lucy] Look for the girl with the sun in her eyes and she's gone

Jude had waited as patiently as he could, for Lucy's sake and for his own. She'd been living a different life from him for a while, she'd need time to deal with his reappearance in her life. That was fair. For him, he was still trying to wrap his head round this whole new world he found himself in, a world that was confusing and strange and impossible and yet irrefutable. So he'd told himself it was best to wait, at least a few weeks.

After more than a week of not seeing her, of missing her eyes, her smile, her hair that was like sunlight, his resolve had wavered and he decided he'd waited long enough. He looked up her address--and discovered that this whole time she'd been just one building away. He'd laughed at that, at the fact that they could have run into each other at any time and just hadn't. There was no significance to the fact, really, it was just funny how life worked sometimes.

It was early yet, so he decided to kill some time and take an offering with him. He ran to a nearby café for a coffee and pastry for her, and tea for himself. Then he made his way to her door at what he hoped was a reasonable hour and rapped at it smartly, beverage in each hand and the paper sack with her breakfast clasped in his teeth, half-covering the grin of anticipation that he couldn't stop as he waited to see her again.

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It's a little on the early side for Lucy. Usually, working shifts past midnight at Semele's, she sleeps late, what she wouldn't exactly call ideal but is the best way to keep the hours she needs to. Today, though, she's working when they open in the afternoon, which gets her out of bed earlier than she would have ordinarily done so. It probably helps to have spent the night on her own, too, leaving her with no reason to want to linger more than is necessary. With a couple free hours ahead of her, she figures that she'll make herself breakfast, maybe see if she can fit in a couple of errands before she has to go wait tables.

That plan gets interrupted by a knock on her door, one she isn't expecting. Max would just have walked in; Steve would probably have called ahead. Still, when she goes to open it, of all the people who could be on the other side, she wouldn't have guessed that it would be Jude.

The odds are good that that's a lapse in judgment on her part, and she knows it. She'd told Max that she would go talk to him soon, and she'd meant to, but between work and dating and all the other shit that happens here, she just hadn't gotten around to it. For that matter, she hadn't really prioritized it, because she hadn't thought she'd need to. Now, all she can do is hope that Max hasn't screwed her over too badly, pushing a hand back through her hair as she bites back a sigh. Just seeing him is fucking weird. It's been a long time, she knew that already, but it didn't hit her until now that she can't honestly remember the last time she saw him.

"Uh, hi."

"Hullo," Jude mumbled around the bag, holding out the coffee to her. "Brought you breakfast." He wanted to drop everything and pull her close, but he held himself in check--especially since she didn't smile when she saw him. His own smile faded in the face of that, though he told himself there could be plenty of reasons. This had to be awkward for her, at least, and...there was so much that they would have to catch up on, so much of her life that he'd missed. She was noticeably older, in fact--though still just as beautiful.

For a moment, Lucy can't think of anything to say, her mouth falling open but no words coming. This ought to be simple. It isn't as if she didn't know it would have to happen eventually, after all, and breakfast, coffee, is fucking simple. Except that word doesn't really apply to any of this when she doesn't know what he knows or what he wants, only that his presence here suggests that they aren't yet on the same page, and she really isn't looking forward to getting them there.

God, if she's right, she's going to fucking kill Max.

"Thanks," she finally says, reaching out to take the coffee he's offered. A part of her feels like maybe she shouldn't, like maybe even just doing this will give the wrong impression, but his hands are full, and she doesn't want to just be some cold-hearted bitch. "I... didn't know you were stopping by."

"Yeah, sorry. I just thought--we should talk," Jude said as he removed the bag from his mouth, his eyes searching her face, looking for something, some sign that any part of her is happy to see him. "Can I come in?"

"Sure, yeah," Lucy says a little too abruptly, nodding. She should have offered, she thinks. This isn't a conversation to have while making him stand out in the hallway, even if she is reluctant to get too familiar. It's hard to make much sense of anything right now, though, when she's so caught off-guard. Stepping aside, she nods into the apartment. "Come on in."

Jude nodded and stepped inside, watching her and feeling very awkward, indeed. "So. Guess it's been a while for you, yeah?" he remarked, shrugging as he tried to figure out where to even start.

"Seven years, just about," Lucy says with a nod, letting out a long, slow breath. She's had a while to think about this, to try to plan what to say, but now that he's here, she's entirely at a loss. Even then, it's not quite right, but God knows this is fucking complicated enough without her bringing other universes and things he won't remember into it. "I'll be 25 soon."

"A bit mad, isn't it?" Jude said with a laugh, shaking his head. It was difficult to wrap his head around, that she could be so much older when he'd just seen her, been with her, less than two weeks ago. "You look good," he added, smiling a crooked smile.

“Thanks,” Lucy says with a small smile of her own, a little uncertain. She’s felt good, too, better than she has in a long time, but she has a feeling that’s not something she should just come out with. As much as she might not know what to do, she is pretty sure she knows why he’s here. “And, yeah, it is pretty crazy.”

Jude nodded, licking his lips before taking a sip of tea from the paper cup in his hand. "Good to have familiar faces round though, yeah?" There was an unmistakeable hint in there, a light of wild hope in his eyes that despite the years she'd been apart from him, there might still be a spark his arrival had kindled. He could hardly bear the thought of any alternative, so he'd steadfastly just...not thought of them.

It is good to have familiar faces around, but not in the way Lucy thinks he has to mean, a segue into whatever he believes is going to happen here. Uncertain as she's been, all that really tells her is that she can't dance around this. She wouldn't really have wanted to anyway. It's just hard to know where to even start. She has to somewhere, though, and so she takes a deep breath, running her free hand back through her hair. "Look, Jude, there are... some things that you should know."

Jude felt his hopes sink a little, her expression saying even more than her words did--and neither were promising. "Yeah, course," he said, dropping his gaze for a moment, then looking at her again. "Tell me."

"I'm sure Max already told you that the time you came from is... before either of us," Lucy says slowly, what seems like the best place to start. It isn't just because of Steve that she's not looking for some kind of romantic reunion, and doesn't want to make it sound like that's the case by replying first off with the fact that she's seeing someone else now. "For me — things had been really bad between us, for a long time. We were miserable. All we did was fight."

No, this was definitely not what Jude wanted to hear. He wasn't going to lose all hope, though. "Could be different, here," he pointed out with a half shrug. "It's a different world, after all."

Lucy pushes a hand back through her hair, sighing. She'd expected as much — this is the way things have always gone with them, at least on her side of things — but that doesn't make it any easier, and while it might not be fair to hold things he hasn't technically done yet against him, her patience is still thin where this subject is concerned. Just the fact of her not being interested should be enough, and even apart from that, she can't think of a single reason why it would make sense for her to get back together with him. "Yeah, it is a different world," she says. "One where it's been almost seven years for me, and where I've lived through all this shit you haven't. A lot's happened, and the two of us, we didn't work."

"So that's it, then? You're just done? Just--wash your hands of me, yeah?" Jude snorted, shaking his head, his chest aching with pain and anger from her rejection, delivered so easily, as if it was nothing to her. As if he was nothing to her. "Guess those seven years have changed you quite a bit, haven't they?" His Lucy--she was brash and outspoken, she didn't just sit back and let others roll over her, but...but she wasn't like this.

Lucy scoffs before she can help herself, her resigned expression shifting into one of bitter distaste. For Max's sake, if nothing else, she'd wanted to try to make this go smoothly, but it's becoming increasingly clear that that was never going to be a possibility, and she should have known better. They may be in a different world, the problems at hand may have changed, but this still feels painfully familiar. "Yeah, you know what, maybe I have changed," she retorts. "Back in New York, I stayed in a relationship where I was miserable months longer than I should have. Now I know better. I've been done a long fucking time."

"Well, that's great," Jude said sarcastically, burying his hurt beneath anger. "That's just great, Luce. Cheers, then. Lovely to see you again." He shook his head and moved toward the door, a lump in his throat making his last few words sound thick with emotion.

It wasn't the reunion he'd hoped for. Not by a long shot.

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[For Lucy] Look for the girl with the sun in her eyes and she's gone

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